Vascular Birthmarks Foundation Forum

Vascular Birthmarks Foundation Forum (http://birthmark.org/board/index.php)
-   Adults Living with Birthmarks (http://birthmark.org/board/forumdisplay.php?f=19)
-   -   Relationships (http://birthmark.org/board/showthread.php?t=1826)

hankbartenbach 03-15-2006 06:06 PM

Relationships
 
Hello everybody,

I am curious to know how many adults out there that have a VB have ever been in a serious relationship.

In grade school I never had a "girl friend" but I had several friends that where girls. Since I grew up in such a small town (around 40,000) that might have something to do with it, and I was the only one that I knew of that had PWS in my town. I went to home coming and prom but both girls I went with where just friends.

In college I had a even harder time find people to except me. I moved to a different state knowing nobody. After two years I did finely have two very short serious relationships and one that lasted about a month. The longer one I actually met in psycology class. Since then it has been about three years that I have been single now.

With a facial birthmark it is really hard to find the opisite sex to except you for who you really are inside. I am sure this goes both ways but peolpe are way to judge mental.

If anybody would like to talk about this issue please do. I am interested in what you have to say.

Hank

heather03 03-16-2006 02:20 AM

Re: Relationships
 
Hey-

I have only posted here a couple times and its been awhile, but anyways i got out of a realtionship in jan. It is really hard to find someone who will except you for who you are! He was the first really serious b-f i had and i was so scared to tell him about my birthmark, i wear make up so you cant tell i have it on my face but i also have it on my arms and legs. I was so worried he would want nothing to do with me, but it didnt bother him at all, which i was so happy about! its always so hard to tell someone because you never know how they will react. My self esteem is not the greatest from being picked on constantly in school when i was younger, so i find it hard to see why would someone wanna date me, but thats starting to change a little!

* * *-Heather

hankbartenbach 03-16-2006 07:40 PM

Re: Relationships
 
Thank you Heather for your imput on the topic. It is interesting to hear how vascular birthmarks effect awere lives in so many ways but in the same ways. It is intersting to me to know that it is not only guys with birthmarks that have these problems. Both sexs can be very judge mental in so many different ways. But for some reason looks are always a big factor when it comes to this topic.

Again thank you for posting to this topic. I look forward to hearing what other people think as well about this topic.

Hank

nickbar 03-16-2006 08:16 PM

Re: Relationships
 
Hank... sorry... I had to jump in here. If I was about 10 years younger.... ;) and of course not married...
So.......any girls out there... he is a catch!!!!!

Corinne

hankbartenbach 03-16-2006 10:55 PM

Re: Relationships
 
10 years younger hu. More like 5. LOL Nobody think that she is pulling a fast one here. Corinne talks like she is older then she really is. ;D


nickbar 03-17-2006 03:51 PM

Re: Relationships
 
:-* you angel... well I am about 12 years older... yes, it is true...but thank you for thinking I was younger HANK.

HUGS

C

Jim Devier 04-13-2006 08:17 PM

Re: Relationships
 
So many times I see people post that " people are so judgemental" It's true, but the most judgemental person you'll meet is yourself. Needs to be some kind of counceling thing going on for people with this situation- let them know that they don'thave a problem- some of the people they meet might. Heather, glad to hear you are starting to see light at the end of the tunnel- can be one heck of a tunnel. I know it was for me. I'm 53, pretty good compound hemangoima on my face. I could tell you some stories.I always if Gorbachev having a pws contributed somehow to end of the soviet union? Jim Devier

hankbartenbach 04-14-2006 03:20 AM

Re: Relationships
 
Hi Jim,

You are very right the most is always yourself in our own ways. There are a lot of other ways to judge someone besides looks. :)

If you are interested I do know a couple people your age and older that have PWS birthmark.

When where you diagnosed with a Hemangioma? Most adults do not have H's. If you have had it this long it was probably mis diagnosed from a doctor that was not speicalist in vascular birthmarks. It still can be an H. Most are a PWS, AVM, or VM.

Mine is a extensive facial PWS. If you would like to see pictures you can see them at www.hankspws.com

Hope to talk to you soon.

Hank

Jim Devier 04-20-2006 08:41 PM

Re: Relationships
 
Hay Hank, I saw your picture, if I could figure out how, I'd send you one of me. Have to get one of my kids to show me again- maybe it'll stick this time! I guess I got blessed with the whole mess- born with hemangioma, upper left lip-PWS bout the rest left side of my face. Not really a problem once I got over the really bad self-consious part of the deal. Darned thing started growing bout 4 years ago- started getting in the way of my left eye. Spent about 6 months figuring what I was getting into before I called a doctor for a consultation. I could tell he was kinda stumped by me ,not so much by my condition , as just by me. I've run my own business dealing with the public for 30+ years now, not standing behind some counter, but selling myself and my service to people- many times contracts in the multi-million dollar range. Got a lot of former clients who come by the office Just to sit and chat. I've seen a bunch of your posts and have to applaud your efforts- someplace there needs to be a place for people to share their experiences. I think that the best thing people in this situation can do is try to help people with (or without) this problem to get over it. Still (after all these years) breaks my heart to see some young child run screaming behind their mother at the sight of me. Usually just getting down and talking to them calms them down and maybe goes a little bit toward helping create another person who can see past the skin. Anyway Hank, Keep hangin in there and know that they make more girls everyday! Jim Devier

hanisah 05-07-2006 10:37 AM

Hi all
I am new here. I been searching for a local birthmark support group in Singapore but there aren’t any available. I am so glad this discussion board knows no boundary :)
I have a purplish, flat birthmark on my right cheek. I have not seen a specialist to diagnose my birthmark. Maybe back then my birthmark have never really bothered me.
Up till recently… when I start using concealer to cover my birthmark, I start getting calls and dates invites from guys... and it makes me wonder why do I suddenly get the attention after I used concealers and not before. I never dare to get into any relationship because I am so scared of being rejected once I reveal my birthmark. Sometime I wish I can just erase my birthmark. :(


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