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-   -   Hiding behind makeup... (http://birthmark.org/board/showthread.php?t=6305)

AlexandraRH131512 03-14-2013 08:55 PM

Hiding behind makeup...
 
Hi I am 21 years old and I have a PWS on the left check on my face. It also somehow goes down my throat and into my stomach. When I was little I knew that I was different and I really never cared untill I started junior high. There was a new group of students that didn't know me and so they stared and it was the first time that I really felt bad about how I looked. So I started wearing makeup at a young age. I had 7 laser surgeries when I was a baby and all it has done is change the color so it looks more like a big bruise. I still wear makeup to this day. I know that people say I look pretty even without the makeup but for some reason I just feel they are saying it because they feel bad for me. I don't have any friends that have birthmarks as big as mine so they don't really understand what its like to feel the need to hid behind layers of makeup just to feel somewhat normal. I still wear makeup to this day but recently I have been dreading the morning because I know I have to get up and smear a ton of thick makeup over my face. The worst part about makeup is that I can't hug or kiss people because I would get makeup on the people I touch. Then on the other hand if I think about going out without makeup on I start to get nervous and just decide its better to deal with makeup than deal with awful questions from people. I think the worst assumption/question anyone has ever asked about my PWS is... Do your parents hit you? and this was asked to me when my mother was standing right beside me. I just want to be carefree again and not have to stress about my face in the mornings. Also I want to be able to feel normal and actually go one dates where I am not always thinking about how I look, is my makeup still in place?. I would love to hear from anyone who went through any similar situations and how they dealt with them.

rhazzJL 04-15-2013 03:49 PM

hi.. my name is razle and i have pws almost half of my body,exposing my left face and arms..you know what, i have similar situation that you do...(except wearing make up,you're lucky enough that you can still hide yours with make up,)...people are always asking me what happened to me..most especially those people who don't know me well..they will guess and say...did somebody hit you on a face?or were you burned? tsk,tsk....it can't deny the fact that its really hurt deep inside about those things tell off to me..but what i did is to smile and tried to explain a lil like..."it's inborn" and "its such a special birthmark"...somehow i can get over it by looking back about what the Good God gave to me...right now i am working as an elementary teacher...and through those kids i handled, i get refreshment of myself because of me i can transfer learning to them....(i had never been in surgery)and i thought right now after all those things i've been through...it is worthy enough to say "i'm strong!!"

Juanita 05-10-2013 10:53 PM

Hiding too...
 
Hi Alexandra,

I am empathetic to your situation. I am in my 40's and have been wearing make up since I was 16. I was born with nevus of ota to the left side of my face from my temple to under my eye. It is mostly seen in Asians but I am not. It looks much like a black eye. Therefore, I wear make up every day that I leave the house. Like you, I would like to be able to go without the make up. I have had several laser treatments over the years which have helped. Currently, I am trying derma rolling. I'm not sure if its working after 4 treatments. I am looking into laser treatments again, that's how I found this site.

I have dated, married and have a adult daughter. Honestly, anyone true in your life will not see the area on your face. Over the years, I have had the insecurities, nothing from the people closest in my life. Of course, I've gone through the stares and questions when I was younger. But, with family I can be my true self without make up. I'm not sure what PWS is but if you can continue tx for your security do so.
Good luck!

missmoss83 06-07-2013 02:23 PM

Make up
 
Hi

I too sympathise with hiding under a thick layer of make up, having been doing so for the last 15 years. (I am 30 now).

I also have neavus of ota under my right eye, if I don't cover it, I look like I've been punched.

I think I cover it well, but it looks crap if I'm tired or hungover. Going on holiday or when it's hot, is particularly difficult- you start to sweat, the make up drips, it's just not nice. Last time I went on holiday, I just wiped it off, forgot I hadn't any make up on, went into a shop to buy something and the reaction of the girl behind the counter made me so upset. It cuts like a knife.

At least we are lucky enough to be able to use make up to cover our marks. As some aren't so lucky.

xx

EmmaLee 08-18-2013 06:59 PM

I know how you feel.. I am 23 now and I have been hiding my pws for 7 or 8 years now.. basically from the beginning of high school.. and I also hate mornings, hate that I have to put it, fix it, think about it every day.. I have days when I just colapse and I do not feel like doing anything because I am sick of putting make-up.. I was on a holiday this week.. and I decided that I will go without make-up.. one man asked me did I burned my face and many people stared.. yeah.. It wasn't relaxing holiday at all.. but well..

And I have been thinking about these things a lot.. maybe it's out fault that we are weird to them.. we are hiding and avoiding questions and confrontations.. maybe that we have spoken more about it and educate people it wouldn't be weird anymore..
but well..

kaykay 08-23-2013 12:30 AM

i've problarly mentioned this before

i have a PWS on my left cheek bottom lip chin left ear throat scalp and chest. patch on back. covering up is pointless so i pretty just have said f*ck it and i go out in the world and deal with it one day at a time. sure there are ups and downs. I understand why people use make up. its never been an option for me and i hate make up period. so, i don't have to worry about hiding or hoping no one finds out. at some point some people will. they will asked questions about it and then they will move on to more important things in life !

bellearwood 10-02-2013 01:15 PM

Have you tried going for a botox treatment?? That might be able to do some help! But before planning up make sure that you go to the right place with a certification in medical aesthetics training!

felish29 02-20-2014 07:24 AM

sooo sick of putting on makeup too!
 
Hi all,

I have to agree that waking up in the mornings and knowing that I have to sit in front of a mirror for 30 minutes is so frustrating and that's why this month I have reached out to a plastic surgeon for laser therapy. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, but I had a test spot done yesterday and my skin was peeling today, so my makeup looked like crap. Of course everyone is going to say you look beautiful, because they don't know the struggle!! On the other hand, though dating is difficult with it, I was in a couple of relationships where they loved me makeup off too. I have actually become very vocal about my "black eye" and I plan to make it more known because a girl should not have anxiety about going outside without makeup on. Also, I live in Florida, so summers are no fun for me. I really do not go to the beach with friends and I only go to the gym in the evening time when there are minimal people there. At almost 30, I probably should not feel that self conscious about it, but I often wonder if I would have had any of the waitressing jobs I got or if I would have even gotten into pharmacy school wearing no makeup. I have learned so much about this just in the past week. I never had a name for it and I was always told that I ran into a door knob as a baby lol. All I can say is, you never know what the day will have in store for you if you don't get up and layer on that makeup. Good luck ladies!! Thank you for sharing!!

jenfo 09-06-2014 09:58 PM

It's okay
 
Let me start with saying i feel for any and all of you ladies (and males too).

It's a vain world.

I was raised in Las Vegas maybe one of the MOST vanity driven places in the world! I have a Venous Malformation behind my left eye, needless to say all the make up in the world can't begin to hide my protruding eye.

I had 2 surgeries by 7 years old, with no luck. At which point doctors essentially gave up (it was 1995). My parents were concerned about what this meant for me emotionally and physically. I wish i could say their concerns were unrealistic.

I've had everything from stares to physical bullying. Beyond struggling with the physical pain the emotional pain is far worse. I attempted suicide by 3rd grade. I was convinced i would never know how "pretty" would feel and that certainly no man would ever be in my life, i would forever be the 'freak' in hiding.

I allowed society to convince me that others opinions determined my "beauty"

There was a clothing store i went to once that had one huge communal dressing room lined floor to ceiling in mirrors
for me this was a death trap....my mom forced me to venture in...

Inside there's couple young ladies gorgeous with perfect physique's.
As i continue on, i cant help but overhear as these two girls SLAUGHTER how they looked in the mirror, so focused on their "flaws" they forgot to notice my messed up face! Another woman comes in whom by society's standards wouldn't be considered so 'beautiful' by most.
I watch as she so proudly held her head high, literally strutted around the fitting room proud as can be as if no one else was there!
something about seeing this direct contrast in such a ahem..open setting was life changing
i realized it's was true ...
beauty IS in the eye of the beholder!
I left that day not only without humiliation but with new sense of being.

No matter who you are, who is around you, and how you look someone somewhere including yourself will find beauty and flaws.
You don't have to love everything to love something.You define beauty make your comparisons to yourself. Fall back into being a young girl when a barrette made you feel pretty. Use make up for the fun of it, to feel feminine never to hide behind...though yes concealer can remain your best friend if that's how you feel lol
Then that day when you dread the cake face your going to "have" to put on (remember no one made that rule but you)
step outside of your self-loathing comfort box and rock a naked face. yes people will stare yes they will comment/ask
haven't they anyways? what do you truly have to loose?
C'mon ladies make-up is great but it's not magic and chances are people notice whats under that make up and are too timid to ask, i personally encourage the questions it's refreshing when someone just comes out and says it as opposed to giving me that deer in the headlights stare at half of my face...just ask already!- so i'll just interject "it's a tumor"-control the situation don't be the victim to it
and as kaykay said there's more important things in life and trust me that person isn't thinking about your face 10 minutes later
haven't you seen someone with something different? can you recall it...do you even care to? were all to selfish for it haha
this will all be trivial on your deathbed or when you're 80 and a bag of wrinkles not feelin so hot anyways.


Oh And one really fun thing ONLY someone with a visible abnormality can do
when that next person gives you a nasty comment or stare
BUST out some confidence (false and as silly as it feels) then watch as they question everything they thought they knew...
i know your sitting there thinking 'ha yeah right -this girl is nuts' -really try it.. you're missing out if you don't! it's truly entertaining. See a "typical" woman would come across as straight up narcissistic, you will raise a mysteriousness no one will be able to explain and suddenly that false confidence just got real.
Life is short- quit hiding from it!


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