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-   -   I snapped (http://birthmark.org/board/showthread.php?t=6421)

traumatised04 06-23-2013 12:34 PM

I snapped
 
This is not a happy story, but it is the truth.

I had a large PWS on my neck and two on my chin. They got darker the older I became. In the beginning I didn't mind it much, but I became very self conscious about it.

During puberty I also developed severe acne, in combination with the birthmarks. I never had any true friends in high school; I was shunned. I'd spend more time talking to myself than to other people; these days I often still do, though the talking is in my head.

I became anxious and neurotic whereas in my childhood I was quite happy and carefree. Despite pressures and problems, I worked hard at school and did well, even secured a scholarship to a decent high school.

I immigrated as a toddler and at 14 returned to the old country and spent quite some time with my cousins, for the first time in a long time I was shown unconditional love. But only a month later I was forced to return and took up a position in the new school on a scholarship. The demographics were completely different from what I was used to: I was this 'spotted' foreigner walking around an alien environment. I cried a lot during that period, and eventually it broke me.

Afterwards i became aggressive and coldhearted. I was not the same person I was as a boy, and I am still not. My personality seriously degenerated and I lost the ability to trust other people, not even my own family. When I was 15 I finally saw a dermatologist (if only it had been earlier), he cured my acne and removed the marks with a laser. But the emotional damage was done.

I was highly anxious, insecure and narcissistic; I began to grind my teeth relentlessly every night and suffered many thought disorders. I was in severe pain during the day.

kaykay 08-27-2013 01:30 AM

ok, first rule in the book, everything you just said proves that you are NOT different. That you too are a human being like everyone else out there as we all have problems, personal issues and anxiety.

your gonna have ups and for sure you are gonna have downs. You need to learn how to cope with it. get counseling. It sounds like you need to heal yourself on the inside. To grind your teeth, thats some serious stress to cause that and it created pain. thats not good. you really need to try and overcome that.

every day is a new day. it might have the same old crap and the same old problems but its a new day to try and do something new to help you inside


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