Port wine stain on left cheek.
I am a 27 yr old man, with a birthmark covering my left cheek. it used to be a purple color. Now, it has lighten to pink with about 20 treatments.
I never thought I was ugly, it's just that I had a birthmark.
In school, I was always bullied and laughed at. Bullies would drag me and pour water over me, they would pull my shirt and step on my shoes when I was in primary school. I got so frustrated that I signed up for boxing classes and trained for about 2 years, the guy who challenged me to a fight in school? I punched him right at the shoulder and he cringed in pain on the ground. I felt great about myself for the first time that I was finally able to take it out on my bullies. I was bullied everyday in school, one time I was given a drawing of my face and I was VERY angry. I had a good friend who ganged up with me and beat up the person who drew my drawing. It felt awesome and it still feels so.
In kindergarten, a girl yelled at me and said I was a ghost or something and told me to get lost.
In polytechnic and university days, the days were as miserable as it has ever been. people were all about dating and checking our hot girls. BUt there I was with a birthmark, feeling isolated and alienated through the best years of my life. People love to stare at my birthmark long and hard and I was always extremely insecure. I can only try to be normal... I try to everyday... I think I may have a shorter life due to anxiety and high blood pressure. fark my life but I dont blame my parents for that. what parents want their kid with a birthmark anyway.
Til today, I still feel very insecure about it. Deep insecurity within me, although I try to appear strong. I was never confident in front of girls and people.
I had my first girlfriend at the age of 21, she was pretty and had fair skin. She was also from a rich family, father's a businessman. The pressure was high as her family objected her to seeing me as I had a birthmark. Later on, I discovered that I was a backup, she was waiting for a better guy to show up. She even said to me "my family is concerned our kid may have a birthmark" what does she mean when she said that, i think it is quite clear.
I am employed now earning 35000 a year. I do not have a girlfriend. What I am most concerned about is my own health and my own interests and my family, I have developed a sort of self-centred attitude due to people being unkind to me, since my young age. But I know that I cant always be self-centred because it will kill me and my social life. So I try to live responsibly to my family, my relatives and my company and I will continue to go for laser treatments.
My daily life routine now:
- go to work
- go home
- hit the gym on alternate days
- go home
- have my dinner
- play with my macbook air and iphone
- spend time with my mom
you sound alittle like myself :)
boxing. yeahhh thats what i should of done. i'd love to knock a few people out even now as and adult
i was never badly bullied. i was teased yes. teachers always tell you "sticks and stones..." no one wanted to pick me for anything. as an adult things are different. i don't know if i wanna smack the kids or the adults more for the stupid things they say. Not to mention the ignorance.....
I kept to myself alot. I still do. its just that i don't need groups to hang out with to make me feel wanted. would be cool to have someone go to the zoo with me though
Social media has helped me alot over the years. It has allowed me to show more of who i am and its a great way to get my view across especially as i have a problem with speech and because i am almost completely deaf in one hear, this is a big help. I don't have to ask people over and over again what they said and vice versa. When i meet people, i am more relaxed. I can be an ass so if they happen to see that too bad :) I even started to get alittle political and not so shy about having my picture taken with friends. i'll even post my own pic on my facebook page for my friends when i am feel cocky.
the sooner you accept there are stupid people out there the soon one can move on and not give a frak. There are good days and then there are the down days. thats the one thing that makes us like "normal people" they get highs and lows too.
You are your own man Henney an that is something to be proud of. you could be a bum or drug addict but your not. Continue to take care of your health, family and life. There are good people out there.
i'm real selective with the people i hang with but sometimes i feel the pressure being with people outside of my comfort zone. But in life, sometimes this is a must and i consider it a growth experience even if i fail badly and boy have i failed...my birthmark is the least of my worries when i say the most stupid things.....
one day at a time.
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