[lyssa]

Hi! I’m 22 year old. I have HUGE birthmark. My birthmark starts from my left lower back into stomach connecting down to all the way down the left side of my leg and ends wrapped around my ankle. I’m not sure the name of my birthmark but the colour is brown. It looks awful since the rest of my skin colour is white and I’m not sure if there is risk of cancer. I don’t know if someone else out there has similar birthmark because I never heard or seen others that have kind of birthmark. I never wear shorts, skirts out and even dare trying to go to a public pool in a swimsuit. It really hurts me. I’m glad that found this site to share my problem because I’m too embarrassed to talk or discuss with anyone including doctors and my family. I even scared to be in a relationship. I had 1 relationship and only lasted when he found out that I have birthmark because I’m too embarrassed to face him and I felt that I’m not good enough. I’ve promised myself to not fall in love because I know it won’t last but I fell in love again with my current boyfriend. I recently just told him that I have birthmark after he keeps asking why I never wear shorts but I didn’t show it to him so he doesn’t know the colour and how huge my birthmark is. Every time when he asked and wants to see I will be crying and crying and run away from him. I know he would feel disgusting when he see my birthmark. I wanted to end our relationship but he said I’m stupid and I don’t know why but this time I don’t want to lose him but I know that it is unfair for him as he deserves better person than me so eventually this relationship will end. I don’t know what to do. I’m tired of living with lies and alone. When my friends asked why I never wear shorts I keep saying that I’m not comfortable wearing shorts out and I don’t have nice legs. No one of my friends knows that I have birthmark. almost every night I will cry, wondering why me and thinking of living alone forever. I would laugh happy in front of everyone but deep inside me I feel very very depressed. I’m sick of living like this. I wish my huge ugly birthmark can be removed.