i wanna say it gets better but thats up to you. I can honestly tell you i don't think you are alone feeling that way. I have my good days and i have my bad days but i live for the good days.
i've said it on another post recently, for me personally make up seems like too much pressure. to me it feels like hiding a criminal past i don't want people to find out. its tough out there i know. i've thrown myself out for the entire world with my fb blog now and i'm just rolling with it taking it as it comes one day at a time. Doesn't mean i don't understand why people use make up, its a personal choice.
i would recommend some consoling. your childhood trama, and thats what it is, doesn't help with your own feelings about your birthmark. you really did not get the support you really needed as a child concerning your birthmark. what you posted is pretty heavy. no this is not a pity party
i think as i have gotten older i am not so worried about being normal, i'm weird so thats pretty much ruled out anyway. i think i am more content now also. less drama i have in my life the better. I have a large birthmark, its there for all to see, nothing i can do and i am certainly not gonna waste energy on ignorant asses who cannot accept me.
thank you for your honesty