Vascular Birthmarks Foundation Forum - View Single Post - Growing up with a PWS
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Old 11-03-2004, 04:40 PM
leiden
 
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Default Re:Growing up with a PWS

Wow I can’t tell you how much it means to me to discover this forum and read through everyone’s experiences. I am a 25 year old woman with a Port-Wine stain covering the right side of my face. I had two PDL treatments on my stain as an adolescent. I struggled to complete the process for both monetary and moral reasons. It’s a part of me, and I wouldn’t be who I am without it. I agree that it makes our hearts and empathic abilities that much stronger. However, I am not brave enough to leave my house without makeup. Since 5th grade I have worn a variety of foundations to conceal it, and to this day I use a layer of lavender, yellow, and buff to hide the individuals spots and then cover my entire face with a skin toned foundation. Although I am quite confident with makeup on, I have a great deal of trouble trusting men who are attracted to me. I know that if they ever see me without makeup their perception will greatly change. I have had success dating, but I often feel I am compromising, thinking I should be grateful to anyone finding me attractive. I have over compensated in a number of areas, but mostly school. I was ignored in the classroom by my teachers and horribly taunted by my peers up through high school, and truly believed I was stupid. Luckily I did end up making it to college and here I have done everything in my power to demonstrate I am just as competent as anyone else. Currently I am wrapping my last year of Ph.D. coursework and am looking forward to proving everyone wrong. Although I have confidence in other areas, and would never take back my experiences, as they have shaped me into who I am today, I often wonder if I will forever be alone. Today after completing a vast amount of research, I am considering taking up an old battle with my insurance company once again and maybe continuing treatment. I am struggling with the choice as I don’t want to be a sell out, but at the same time I hate the anxiety it causes me. I do worry about it thickening and raising over the next 20 years, and thus am considering treatment more seriously theses days. However at the same time, if someone could fall in love with me now, I would have greater confidence that they loved me and not my appearance. It’s a part of us forever whether it is removed or not…we will always see it.
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