I completely understand where you are coming from, and I agree 100% w/Corinne on her advice. My daughter is just starting school and so far it's been positive. Even the one comment she got wasn't a "bad" comment. This all being said let me tell you I never stop feeling guilty. I get mad at times and frustrated, but then I look at Gabbey. She is so wonderful and to be honest she is more accepting of others than my oldest. She doesn't even question a person w/abnormalities. She just takes them as they are.
My oldest has had a few issues w/judging kids before she got to know them. The perfect example is her best friend now has glasses and had glasses when Ellie met her. I told her the very first day of school to talk to her. Against her wishes lol so to speak she did and now well lol they are attached at the hip. Another way I got her to understand that the outside doesn't matter is I took a book and covered it in a paper bag. I then took plain paper and wrapped it in beautiful wrapping. (The book was/is one of her favorites.) But to make a point I asked her which gift she would like to keep. She of course picked the one packaged in the beautiful packing, she opened it and was rather disappointed that it was plain paper. I then showed her the other "gift" she opend it and wow ya know there was her favorite book. It was a really good lesson for her.
Just remember it isn't/wasn't your fault. You will have good days and bad days. On the bad days those are the days that you need to get on here and talk w/others who are in the same situation as yourself.
Hope this helped.