So I've Gotta Birthmark... - Vascular Birthmarks Foundation Forum
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Go Back   Vascular Birthmarks Foundation Forum > Individuals Living with Birthmarks > Living with a birthmark - my story

 
 
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Old 11-08-2009, 01:03 PM
wayne89 wayne89 is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
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Default So I've Gotta Birthmark...

Hi..

I'm 20 years old and have had my large (HUGE) birthmark ever since i could remember, the birthmark is a 'cafe au lait' and covers half my abdomen, quarter of my back, as well as some spots on my left leg.

I've never been to the beach with my top off and always wear something underneath my shirt or jumper, some days as sad as it may seem I day dream about being able to do something as simple as wear a white T-shirt with nothing else underneath and walk down to the shops without worry about my shirt lifting up and revealing my birthmark. What makes it even sadder is this will never happen for me. It makes me extremely self-conscious during summer months almost to the point where I get so depressed I don't want to leave my room

The saddest part about my life is that I'm afraid to tell people about my birthmark, not cause I'm scared they'll stop being my friend (if that did happen then I guess they aren't really a friend) but because I don't want to be treated any differently or receive pity from them.

I've been looking into laser removal of these spots recently and have literally read up on everything there is to know, I see before and after photos of pigment treatments and sometimes cant believe the results cause they look so good, I do not think those kind of results would be possible for me. I'm even scared to book in an appointment or consultation, I keep putting it off, even typing this is hard! Some days I get pissed off at the world and just wish I was normal and that makes me so depressed cause there's so many people out there worse off than me yet still selfish thoughts run through my mind.

Having normal skin is something so many people take granted for and I hear people complain about the stupidest things like pimples or having bad hair or things along those lines and I just feel like saying SHUT UP! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GOOD YOU HAVE IT! This of course again makes me feel selfish and depressed.

Sorry for the long post but I just needed to let somethings out I think.

If anybody has had success with laser treatment I'd love to hear about it!

Oh and I totally agree that a birthmark should not control your life but sometimes it does, like with me, some days I wish everyone could swap and see what it is like to live with a birthmark for a day and to see what it's like to be normal for a day.

Thanks for reading.

W.
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