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  #41  
Old 10-29-2009, 04:04 AM
mariatellez mariatellez is offline
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hi, when i grow up i started to use make up and that made me feel more confident, but i'm always scared to show it up. When i was little, kids were always saying something about it, and people looked at me like i have bad smell or something. So i was very insecured since very young and i think im getting obsessed about the make up, because i cant stop use it even to go to take the garbage out or something like that, every day, all day, so was thinking to take it out but i dont have the resources to do it, i know that'll improve my life so much and my personality, im very shy and i panic if i have to talk in public, i start to shake, i get red and i feel im gonna faint, because i believe people all is watching is my birthmark. So that makes me isolate myself and that makes people feel uncomfortable with me i guess.
And if i see somebody like me i just wanna go away from that person, i dont know why, is just me?
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  #42  
Old 10-29-2009, 10:08 PM
kaykay kaykay is offline
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no its not just you. i have similar feelings. I do not wear make up. never have. someone is gonna notice something is wrong with me any way with my big lip and grossed out ear its never made sense for me.

I can barely stand to wear moisturizer anyway. i wear lip balm and clear mascara.

all i can say is one day at a time. I don't have the resources either but i would like to think that treatment will improve my life. Then i also tell myself it should be in me whether i have a birthmark or not.
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  #43  
Old 05-28-2010, 09:42 PM
sweet pea sweet pea is offline
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I love your way of thinking Kay Kay. Really anyone who really cares about you will look beyond your birthmark. It shouldn't matter if you have one or not. It's taken me a while to not care about the way mine looks, but I am over it. I have the this is me, take it or leave it kind of feeling. haha. I'm in a relationship now and love him dearly. He's so supportive and was there for me during my last small surgery. He is the best. He doesn't look at me any different because of it and tells me I'm beautiful all the time. I really couldn't be happier.
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  #44  
Old 10-06-2010, 01:16 AM
Marylin Rodriguez Marylin Rodriguez is offline
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Smile beauty inside

Quote:
Originally Posted by hankbartenbach View Post
Hello everybody,

I am curious to know how many adults out there that have a VB have ever been in a serious relationship.

In grade school I never had a "girl friend" but I had several friends that where girls. Since I grew up in such a small town (around 40,000) that might have something to do with it, and I was the only one that I knew of that had PWS in my town. I went to home coming and prom but both girls I went with where just friends.

In college I had a even harder time find people to except me. I moved to a different state knowing nobody. After two years I did finely have two very short serious relationships and one that lasted about a month. The longer one I actually met in psycology class. Since then it has been about three years that I have been single now.

With a facial birthmark it is really hard to find the opisite sex to except you for who you really are inside. I am sure this goes both ways but peolpe are way to judge mental.

If anybody would like to talk about this issue please do. I am interested in what you have to say.

Hank
WSLL HANK I THINK BEAUTY IS INSIDE. I AM 50 YEARS OLD AND HAVE LIVE WITH MY PORTWINE STAIN IN MY FACE ALL MY LIFE HAVE ALSO A DEFORMATION ON THE LIP THATS NOT SO PRETTY AT ALL, BUT I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT PERSONALITY HELPS ALOT. I HAVE VERY GOOD LUCK WITH GUYS, I COULD TELL YOU THAT ALOT OF MAN WANTED SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP WITH ME, MAYBE IS BECAUSE I AM A VERY SOCIAL PERSON, AND HAVE MY OWN STYLE .
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  #45  
Old 10-17-2010, 07:47 PM
muse151 muse151 is offline
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I am 19, and have a large, bumpy, blotchy PWS on my left shin (Knee to ankle)
I have never had a boyfriend, and most of my friends dont even know i have the PWS.
I worry too that i will never find someone who will be comfortable with it....Lasers didnt work for me...once a month for two years and NO change.

It is nice to hear about some people on here that have found love and acceptance...
I find the hardest part is me though. I think to myself, no one will ever love me, no one will keep being attracted to me after they see my leg....I never have given anyone a chance, because i prevent myself from liking anyone, thinking they will reject me.

Maybe most of us need to begin to accept and love ourselves before we can allow others to accept and love us.
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  #46  
Old 10-18-2010, 09:03 PM
kaykay kaykay is offline
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i understand what you mean and i think its only a natural feeling. but you can't say for sure how people will react. its just a chance you have to take. you can be the most beautiful person in the world but a beast lives inside ! I think we all know atleast one person like that.

all you can do is just be you. you have a PWS. thats just a part of you but its not all that you are. Try not to let what others may think concern you. Its your life to live not theirs.
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  #47  
Old 10-22-2010, 07:13 AM
s_haimen
 
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It is extremely difficult for me to develop relationships with people. I hold back many emotions so I do not want to expose them to my crazy thoughts that even I cannot understand. Also when I used to actually share my depressed thoughts with friends it was very difficult for them and I understand that. So I am never able to be my true real self ever. Also, I am not affectionate. I do not even hug my own parents. I hate PDA with boyfriends. I was also heart broken by a guy that couldnt take my depression anymore. I used to cry for no reason and nor he or i could help myself so it was very frustrating. So i do not like having a bf because i dont want them to be with me because i am very hard to deal with. I even have a hard time dealing with myself. the worst is when i like a guy and i get intimate with him and then when he sees my huge ugly scar i need to tell him what it is and blabla.... and hope to god that he doesnt get disgusted. last summer i went to a wedding a wore a sleeveless dress that exposed my huge scar on my shoulder from my skin grafts (to remove my birthmark). i very rarely wear sleveless and when i do its so hard for me to be relaxed. so i met a guy at the wedding and he told me that he loved my scar and thought it was beautiful and then we were bf and gf the next week already and he told me he loved me...and i just went along with it because he liked my scar not even because i liked him, because i didnt even like him THAT much. just because he ;iked my scar i felt that it was such a rare thing that i just went for it. then broke up with him after a month. i hate relationships. why?? because i cannot understand how somebody could really love me for me. Im so difficult to deal with, im depressed (i take meds tho), i have a visible huge scar, and im not confident. the way i feel about going into a relationship is that i can only do it once i fix the relationship i have with myself. im 23 yrs old and have yet to fix that relationship with myself. i try really hard everyday and HOPE that one day i will be satisfied and happy.
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  #48  
Old 10-23-2010, 08:58 PM
kaykay kaykay is offline
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oh yeah read you loud and clear.

i've been fondly called ice queen. told i have pretty eyes but they are cold. of course they are. I'm guarded. need to protect myself and be armored. Having a drink is sometimes the only way for me to let that guard dowmn and allow myself to be me.

we are no different than other people with self esteem issues like weight, child abuse etc...i'm no angel but I am aware that i shouldn't get into something for the wrong reasons. to feed my esteem. I kept a tighten reign on myself for years. i'm starting to loosen up alittle more cause i am missing out on life.

i've been love. wanted kids, marriage. for once it finally felt so natural. affection came natural. didn't feel forced. he was something special. Relationship ended and back to feeling dead about those things. i will settle for company now and then. something pernament would be great but if i don't feel a future it makes no sense. people my age want marriage, kids. I don't. It gets real lonely.

at 23 you are young. keep working on yourself. seek counselling if necessary. you have good days, you have bad days. one day at a time.
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  #49  
Old 11-05-2010, 11:20 PM
sweet pea sweet pea is offline
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I think you are lucky to have a PWS. I have a lymphatic malformation and have been through numerous surgeries. I've now been left with massive scars and still have the malformation there. I noticed new growth the other day. I think it takes time to get past the feelings of being very insecure. I think a lot of it is really in your head. You think all of these people are judging you, when not everyone is. Even if they do judge, their opinion should not matter. There will always be people who are rude, but you have to move past those ones. Hopefully they'll grow up and realize their comments or looks are unnecessary. I'm 21 and feel I have reached a place where I am finally happy. I think I look beautiful, even with the scars. I've found someone who loves me and we are planning on getting married. I didn't think I would find someone. I was closed off and used to always have my guard up. But when I let myself be vulnerable, I found the best guy. He is my rock. It might take some time to allow yourself to get to that point, but you have to somewhat force yourself to not think that way. Make body peace and learn to love yourself. Everyone has some flaw, so learn to love it.
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