Wow. That must have been so disappointing. Some surgeons are not known for wonderful bedside manners, but that was extreme for sure. They need to remember that it's not just what they say, but how they say it. My daughter's surgeon was a little bit like that although he did speak nicely to us and to our daughter. He was just rather abrupt at times. I remember my mom telling me about the surgeon who operated on my brother's kidneys...terrible bedside manner, outstanding surgeon. But in that initial consult, it is important for you to walk away feeling confident in his abilities and comfortable. It doesn't sound like that happened for you.
I think your plan sounds like a good one...going back to the dermatologist and seeing if you can get a referral for a second opinion. Then you will be able to see if the opinion is the same or different. You can also email Dr. Levitin and/or Dr. Geronemus here on this site, and they might be able to give you their opinions as well. Make sure you send pictures. Then you will have some more objective info to go on.
I have been in the situation before of trying to make decisions about surgery and laser and it is really stressful. Don't lose heart. It's a bump in the road. But if I were in your shoes I'd be venting too!!!
Keep us posted!
By the way, one of my daughters had a hemangioma on her hand and wrist too!