Hi Becca's mommy,
I am 20 years old and have had a venous vascular malformation on my tounge since i was born. My doctors always wanted to wait and see what would happen, expecting it to either stay the same size or shrink. When it was visible that it was growing during my freshman year in college, my mom did some research and found an absolutely amazing group of surgeons in New York. I have never (its been about 2 years) regretted having the surgery! It was truly one of the best experiences of my life! We saw Dr. Milton Waner and Dr. Greg Levitin, just FYI.
As a kid, I never felt left out or out of place, but kids did always ask me what was on my tongue and I was always a little embarrassed. I don't feel like it affected me a whole lot, but mine wasn't visible unless i was talking.
BUT, I definately recommend the surgery, especially if she is young enough to not really remember it
Good Luck and I hope everything works out with Becca!!